Composing Goodreads Ads

Goodreads has a program where you write little classified ads to plug your book. You only pay when people click on it. It's been thoroughly enjoyable - sort of like writing a haiku, or a Burma Shave ad or something. A nice thing is you can target the ads to only show on pages of specific authors (for me that's people like Charles Yu, George Saunders, or maybe Ray Bradbury) so I don't annoy people who are, say, on the "Heaven is Real" page. Here's some attempts. They are awaiting approval. Wish me luck!

More Stories about Spaceships and Cancer
Weird/sad/funny/perverse/twee/quasi sci-fi and or literary stories from Adult Swim writer Casper Kelly (Squidbillies, Aqua Teen, Birdman)

Who needs a traditional publisher?
Apparently me. I wouldn’t be here at 3am eating cold pad thai and trying to compose Goodreads ads. Give me e-love I obviously crave.

Help! I'm trapped in a Goodreads ad!
Please add my book so I may receive my food pellet. Book title: More Stories about Spaceships and Cancer. (Does not contain spaceships or cancer.)

Sex Fantasies at Work
...is the name a novella in this absurdist short story collection. And it delivers the goods, but in a funny way, not like Fifty Shades of Grey or anything.

I am a shy person
And I seek the love I need by writing books and tiny, tiny Goodreads ads.

Do guys read anymore?
Or are they too wrapped up in video games and our current new Golden Age of Television? Just noticing a trend where books that appeal to women seem to dominate the bestseller list. Prove me wrong, men bitches!

Mystery/Thriller Fiction is Boring as Hell
The covers all have a knife or a woman’s torso or the silhouette of a guy running. Or handcuffs. They are the McDonalds of books. Time to try that hot new Indian/Mexican fusion place you read about (metaphorically) fool!

Can you say "penis" in a Goodreads ad?
Well, now we know the answer to that. Read this book of quasi-science fiction absurdist short stories by an Adult Swim TV writer.

Where is the male version of 50 Shades of Grey?
It will never exist. Didn’t you hear? The internet has streaming video. Now read a book of funny short stories completely unrelated to what I’ve just said.

Win 50 pounds of books!

No, no. Why did I just say that? Total lie. Total lie. I think I am losing my head folks. Need to stop writing Goodreads ads and go to bed. It is 3 am. Please add this book already.

If Ray Bradbury and Raymond Carver had a baby
That would have been weird. The baby also might have written this book. (Assuming the baby grew up and was equally influenced by each parent rather than just completely rebelling and becoming like an accountant in Tucson. (Nothing against accountants. If I had money I would probably have one.)

Humor enthusiasts!

I'd like to tell you about a book I lucked upon. It is a collection of funny bitlets by a host of amazing writers and artists. Stray thoughts:

1. A lot of the pieces are by Onion and Daily Show writers. It is great to see them have a chance to write some things non-Oniony/non-Daily-Showy.
2. I read it cover to cover and didn't skip around. That is rare for me. It's that good!
3. More than a few of the pieces I was jealous I hadn't thought of first. Always a good sign. For example, Plathy is a mash-up between Sylvia Plath and the Cathy comic strip. Yes, I know you hate the word "mash-up", so do I, but we live in a fast changing world and must use the words at hand to describe these new and fast changing things. I guess I could have used "juxtaposition."
4. I'm also jealous of the title. I feel like I've read at least a half dozen works of fiction that describe breasts as pendulous and yet never stopped to think how silly that sounds. I want to say two of the works were by John Updike. (I like John Updike, not trying to be snarky there. Not excessively snarky, anyway.)
5. Sadly it is not put out quarterly. It's just the one. Go ahead and pick up it up!
6. Oh yeah, proceeds go to the 826 National tutoring program.

PENDULOUS BREASTS QUARTERLY


Cover Artist

People have been asking me about the cover artist to my book, More Stories about Spaceships and Cancer. His name is Kimiaki Yaegashi and I love, love, love his work.
Here's his website: okimi.com
Here's where you can buy some of his work: Thumbtack Press

Here's some of his new work. Right now he's in a bit of a pizza phase.





xTx & me

I've been a fan of fiction writer xTx for some time now and you should be too. Her stuff is raw and funny and sick and excited and pained and I relate to it. There's her blog, her book Normally Special, countless stories on the web and her free ebook, Nobody Trusts a Black Magician. The first story I read of hers is a hilariously exaggerated self-effacing screed of sexual ineptitude, CIRCLE SLASH ERECTIONS. It's Lena Dunham on steroids before Lena Dunham. I wrote a male response to this, I BET I'M MAKING YOU EXTREMELY NOT WET RIGHT NOW, and to my delight xTx rather liked it. She's allowed me to reprint both after the jump. Caution, these are pretty raunchy, thoroughly unerotic, and hopefully funny. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


Now on iTunes

"More Stories about Spaceships and Cancer" is now available on iTunes in 32 countries including the USA, Canada, Ireland, Cypress, and Latvia. I'm pulling for you, Latvia! Surely among your 2.2 million citizens there is one English speaker willing to take a gamble on a collection of quasi-literary/science fictional/humorous/horror/metafictional short stories! Check it.